This is one is towards the top of my list of my personal pet peeves. If you think I look tired, it’s probably because I am. While I’m mentally trying to juggle all kinds of passenger needs, from drink orders to unexpected emergencies, the last thing I want to hear is, “You look tired.” Not only is it not helpful, but it can also be a little tone-deaf. Here’s a deeper dive into why this comment—and others like it—are best left unsaid, along with tips on how to be a more considerate flyer.

1. The “Tired” Comment Isn’t Helpful

If you’ve ever spent time in a bustling airport terminal or onboard a flight, you know travel can be exhausting. But for flight attendants, exhaustion often doesn’t come from the usual discomforts of flying. We’re juggling long hours, jet lag from shifting time zones, and the demands of managing hundreds of passengers. But even if we do look tired, pointing it out won’t magically lift our spirits or help us feel rested.

A better approach? Offer a simple, “How’s your day going?” These small gestures of empathy go a long way and remind us that passengers recognize our hard work without assuming how we’re feeling.

2. “You Look Tired” Can Feel Personal

Saying, “You look tired” to a flight attendant (or anyone, really) can be taken as a remark on their appearance, which may come across as rude or invasive. Being in a service role doesn’t mean we’re up for unsolicited comments about our personal look.

3. Flight Attendants Are Trained to Stay Composed

Flight attendants are trained in safety and customer service, not to mention dealing with a vast range of personalities, from the friendly and polite to the challenging. We may laugh off comments or politely nod, but inside, we’re focused on one thing: doing our job professionally and safely. A better idea? Respect that we’re doing our best and that you can help make our day a little easier by simply being kind. You never know what kind of day we’ve had or what we are dealing with.

4. The Comment Undermines the Hard Work Behind Their Role

Flight attendants don’t just serve drinks and hand out snacks. We’re responsible for handling in-flight emergencies, addressing security concerns, and even managing unruly passengers. Suggesting we “look tired” can diminish the dedication we bring to these tasks every day.

Instead of comments on our looks or energy level, give us the credit we deserve for creating a safer and more comfortable flight experience to the best of our ability.

So, What Can You Say Instead?

If you feel compelled to chat, here are a few suggestions that are much more likely to brighten our day:

• “Thank you for all you do.” Expressing gratitude is always welcome.
• “How’s your day going?” This opens the door to friendly conversation without assumptions.
• “I really appreciate your help.” If we’ve gone out of our way to make your flight smoother, let us know.

These simple, respectful comments can make all the difference in showing your appreciation for our work.

A Reminder for the Next Time You Fly

Flying can be stressful for everyone, including the people who make sure each flight runs smoothly. So, next time you board a plane, try to think twice before making personal comments. Let’s keep the skies a friendlier place—for everyone on board.